|8 Hateful Things Women Do To Each Other
|It's become the silent emotional killer among women. Women who are
downright mean, malicious and disrespectful with each other. This
trend is creating havoc in our relationships with each other, for it
strikes the core of sisterhood. Real sisterhood can only exist when
respect and trust stand unshakeable. In this particular, most men are
quite opposite to us. For a man, a brother is a brother is a brother.
However, what is most disturbing about our malicious ways is that we
are passing on a legacy of a broken sisterhood to our daughters. Girls
that are mean and catty are usually this way because their
understanding is that this is a normal part of femaleness. They grow
up to become mean and catty women who perpetuate a diseased
To break this cycle we each need to make a conscious effort to
validate all women. Be they our friends or not. Otherwise, we will
continue to find ourselves moving within circles of female hostility,
suspicion, and pain. Here is my list of the most detestable practices
that we need to discontinue in order to heal our sisterhood:
1. Talking about each other - You are really not her friend if what
you have to say about her is so bad you can't say it in front of her.
If you are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns
for her life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you
haven't found the time to tell her β red lights should be flashing.
Believe it or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic part of being female.
Women who gossip do it not because it's a woman-thing, but because
they want to elevate themselves and put other women in a place of
inferiority. Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.
2. Fighting for men β One of the most undignified things that any
woman can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man.
It's a disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today
adult women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict - because
his choice is not clear - then that means that he's really not into
any of you. He's probably playing both of you. That man really does
not deserve love or attention from either one of you. Let him go.
3. Joining female gangs β Women who make you feel unwelcome and
unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women
cliques have become common in the workplace, at church, in the
neighborhood. Cliques are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women
who join cliques are seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence
by cocooning themselves within this circle of supposed exclusivity.
Again, the need to belong to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of
deeper insecurities. Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive
on a type of gang mentality.
4. Undermining each other β Beware of any woman who can never
celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend,
a promotion, an award, a new job, a new acquisi tion, weight loss. If
she has nothing positive to say to you about it, does not show
emotional support, or chooses to remain silent she is not a true
friend. Real friends know how to recognize and genuinely rejoice for
our successes with pride.
5. Competing against each other β You need to get this straight. There
will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or
boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger
house, a more fashionable wardrobe β there will always be some woman
with more of what you don't have. Consequently, the only person that
you need to compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that
you can be - for you. Competing against other women to prove yourself
superior is a financial and emotional drainer. Because of this
mindless competition we become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is
6. Disrespecting boundaries β To survive peacefully every relationship
and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships
operate wit hin margins of respect. Within this level of respect,
privacy and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that
doesn't give me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen,
unbeknownst to you, and help myself to your stuff. I don't do this
not because you won't allow me to, but because I respect your privacy
and your things. Consequently, we both need to know and respect each
other's levels of privacy and intimacy.
7. Crossing boundaries β This is similar to the above, the only
difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend
on my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple
fact that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period.
Therefore, from that understanding I will have the utmost res pect for
her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a
person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another
sister's boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them
the same exact thing. Honestly, that type of inc onsistent behavior
can only be credited to some form of mental illness.
8. Exploiting our friendships β This is a major one. Why are you
friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get
something from you? It doesn't even have to be m aterial. It could
just be your time or your positive energy. Does she happen to be
always on the receiving side, with you dishing out ton loads of
yourself or your stuff? Or is she your friend because of what you
represent? It could be that your husband's position or yours, your
possessions, your talent, whatever, represents some form of
achievement. Is she a friend because that link to you places her on a
higher platform? In a real friendship appreciation, support, and
loyalty must be reciprocal.
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